Lost Memories
by V. Sourweather
Summary: All Marlene knows is that she should remember who this man in front of her is. She knows him (she's sure of that), but she doesn't remember... anything, except her name. [Blackinnon AU, RATED M for torture in later chapters] Writing for Camp NaNoWriMo April 2019


_Hello everyone! I know I shouldn't be starting another fic when _The Brightness of her Soul_ is still ongoing, but I really planned this one out and I'm planning to finish it by the end of the month, as I am writing it for Camp NaNoWriMo April 2019._

_This story is very much an AU, but I can't say why without giving away a main part of the plot, so I won't tell! ;)_

_Rating: Slight M (for torture in later chapters)_

_Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, and everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. I don't make any money out of this story._

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**Prologue: _Pain_**

All Marlene can feel is blinding, searing pain coursing through her body. She doesn't dare opening her eyes. She feels like the effort will be too much and she will have to scream at the top of her lungs (though she's sure she won't have the strength to actually scream, or even cry).

She doesn't remember anything, and the only thought that runs through her head is _I wish I could die_ (a terrible thought, because there certainly are people waiting for her _somewhere_… or are there?).

She feels horrible, and the only thing she wants to do is cry, and she doesn't even know why. She can't think clearly because of the pain, but it's like she knows her mind is a blank page.

* * *

The next time she comes to, the pain has calmed down a bit (or maybe it just hurts so much that she has gotten used to it and she doesn't really feel it anymore).

She tries to open her eyes this time, and fails miserably. She wonders distantly why her eyelids seem glued together, and wants to shrug the question out of her mind, but she can't make her shoulders move.

When she's finally able to hear something other than the drumming in her ears, she catches a masculine and a feminine voice arguing in hushed voices. She has to focus more before she can really make out the words, and when she does, a crease appears between her brows. A crease that makes her head split in two. She doesn't make a sound though (she can't; her voice catches in her throat – and her throat hurts too, and she asks herself if there is a single part of her body that doesn't hurt like hell).

"Sirius…" the feminine voice sighs.

"No!" the man replies with forcefulness in his voice. "She can't just die! We've saved her, and that should be enough!"

"We both know what happened, Padfoot," another masculine voice joins in. (Wasn't the man supposed to be called Sirius?) "Maybe it would be easier for her to just… go."

His voice breaks at the end of his sentence, and she's sure of one thing now: they know her (and she should know them too, but she doesn't even recognize their voices). A tear leaks from her eye. These people are watching over her, she's sure of it, and she can't find a way to thank them, or even to let them know she's actually awake.

She suddenly hears raking sobs and she knows, deep within her heart, that it's the first man. He had sounded so terribly broken at the beginning of the conversation! And she wants so badly to just reach out for his hand, so she focuses on hers and tries to move it with everything she has…

And suddenly, pain surges up her arm. She _has_ actually moved her fingers, but at what cost? It feels like her arm is on fire, and she feels another tear slide down her cheek. But no one notices, and she has never felt so bad and so alone in her entire life (or maybe she has, but she can't remember – why can't she remember?).

The man suddenly utters, "It's Marlene, James… She – She's invincible, and she can't die on me! She just can't!"

His desperation shakes her to the core, and she wants to tell them (to tell _him_, whoever he is – was – for her) that she is not dying, that she is right there with them, but she can't.

In the end, she welcomes the darkness when it washes over her, because it allows her to just stop hearing the man's heart-breaking sobs.

* * *

When Marlene wakes up again, she feels stronger than the other times. She feels like she can actually move enough to open her eyes.

And when she does, all she sees is white. A white light first, then white walls, and then white skin. She realizes she is looking right at a man's face (a man with dark hair, she can see that now), and the first thing she notices about him is that his skin is ghostly white.

"Where am I?" she whispers, her voice raw and her mouth dry. And then, before she can stop herself, the second question tumbles out of her lips, "Who are you?"

The dark-haired man frowns, and she knows she shouldn't have asked that. There is something about him, something that makes her want to comfort him, and she wonders why. He looks quite haunting after all, with hollow cheeks and dark hair and sorrowful eyes. She asks herself why she wants to know so desperately who he is.

"You –" he stammers, and suddenly there's a stormy look in his eyes and he strides out of the room. The sudden movement causes everything to swam around her, and when her eyes refocus, she sees a young woman, blonde, in a hospital blouse.

"Miss McKinnon," she says gently. "You're finally awake. We almost lost all hope."

She frowns and asks in the same raspy voice, "Who are you?"

"I'm Livy Lakefield, I'm a nurse at St Mungo's. You do know what St Mungo's is, right?" the nurse asks her in a concerned voice.

"Yes," she whispers back, and everything suddenly makes sense. The pain, mostly, and maybe even why doesn't remember anything.

"What do you remember, Miss McKinnon?" the woman asks her, seemingly oblivious to her frantic state. Then, she seems to notice something in her eyes, and rectifies, "Of course, you don't have to say anything. If it –"

"I don't remember anything," she states matter-of-factly. "I – I just know that my name is Marlene McKinnon, and – I don't remember anything else. I don't know – I don't –"

Tears are suddenly sparkling in her eyes, and she can't help it, she just lets them flow down her cheeks. The whole truth of it hits her like a wall of bricks. She doesn't even know who she is anymore.

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_I hope you liked this! :) This prologue mainly aimed at setting the basics of the story._


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